bacon wrapped chicken

So I wanted to make some BARBECUE but it was too COLD OUTSIDE and I was too LAZY. 


How about some BACON WRAPPED CHICKEN LEGS instead?

Not many chickens so how about we DOUBLE WRAP those chickens?

Then how about some GENOA SALAMI?

With DIJON MUSTARD.

Lets go ahead and add that LEFTOVER BACON to the side like that cause once I open a POUND, I eat it ALL.

Then get some nice FRESH VEGETABLES for color.

Chop them up with a KNIFE like that.

Then get some BACON.

Kidding about the BACON.

Cook it in the oven at 375 until you can SMELL IT.

It'll smell like DIJON.

Then make everything HOT with WATER.

Put them in ONE BOWL to save on DISHES.

Then CUT UP some BREAD.

DING meats are DONE.

Find a use for all that spare BACON.

And turn them into SANDWICHES that are TASTY.

And then enjoy your meal with a CLASSIC and find out why Katherine Hepburn was FACEPUSHED.

By the way The Philadelphia Story was AWESOME with lots of DRINKING and INAPPROPRIATE MOMENTS plus Jimmy Stewart was GOLD.

Things that Kevin Eats

I consider myself to be a pretty good cook even though I have never formally learned how nor do I follow recipes. I just use common sense, try to copy things I eat at restaurants and whenever in doubt, just add bacon.


This is probably why I refuse to bake. Baking requires you to follow instructions or else it turns out like crap and I admit, I'm not the worlds biggest fan of reading. Moving on.


The funny thing is that one of my first memories as a child is directly related to cooking. I must have been 5 or something because I remember being with my dad at our old place on Riverbend drive. It was during a time when my parents first divorced so I was still young and not 100% all there; I guess the jury is still out on that one.


I remember watching my dad cooking in the kitchen and saying, "when I grow up, I want to be a chef."


My dad turned to me, put his hand on my shoulder and said "only faggots are chefs, son."


I didn't know what that meant.  Shit, I was 5. I was kinda bummed after that. I didn't know that job was reserved for faggots.


For some reason or another I remember that moment as clear as day, it's pretty messed up. Once I found out what that meant it really didn't affect me. Oh dad. The 80's was a different time I guess.


Anyways, I like to create unique dishes for myself and others and I thought that my blog would be an awesome spot to share these creations.


I'm going to post some of the deliciousness here and there. I guess if you want to replicate them you'll have to read. Sorry about that faggots.

the facepush

***UPDATE #6: Mar.27 2011**

Yojimbo directed by Akira Kurosawsa has 3 facepushes in around the same 5 minutes of the movie. Like facepush overload. What's this guy's deal?

***Original Post***

I have no idea what made me pay attention to this, how it happened or why I've been noticing it, but facepushing is all around us, and it is awesome. Better get used to it cause there is no defense for it. You can't block what's in your face.


The main uses are when you really want to cheese someone off or if you just want to get someone out of your face. It's basically the only action in the world that can make anyone feel defeated, helpless and all sorts of shame all at once. Caution: Facepushing does however cause emotional scarring, no one likes being facepushed. Use wisely.


I guess the facepush is also known as the stiff arm in football when said arm presses against said face. Maybe that's why I love football so much. It's always a blast to see a football facepush cause the recipient usually falls and the pusher gains more yards!


So where did facepushing come from? To be honest, I don't know. Let's break it down and see if we can figure it out!


face[feys]
noun, verb, faced, fac·ing.

–noun
1. the front part of the head, from the forehead to the chin.
2. an expression or look that indicates ridicule, disgust, etc.; grimace: The child put on a face when told to go to bed.
 
push[poosh]

–verb (used with object)
1. to press upon or against (a thing) with force in order to move it away.
2. to move (something) in a specified way by exerting force; shove; drive: to push something aside; to push the door open.


I also fully support the #1 definition found on Urban Dictionary, however I think there should be some alternate definitions. I would probably add the following:


facepush


2. When used as an act of frustration.
- Albert didn't want to hear that these weren't the droids he was looking for so he facepushed the fuck outta that stormtrooper.


3. To show how one is in a hurry.
- Sidney had to take a shit real bad so he facepushed his way up the line and into the can.


4. Used when you want something.
- I knew that my mom's dog wanted to be petted after he pushed me with his face repeatedly.


I guess defining the facepush didn't really help us get to the bottom of where this phenom came from. Aw well, let's see the facepush in action montage style! (up there)


Here is a complete list of movies that feature the facepush. Add them to your collection today :P





The movie up there will be constantly updated.


I hope that everyone keeps a watchful eye out for face pushing from now on.

***IMPORTANT***

Whenever you see facepushing going down
 please stop and record it somewhere.

I'd like to treat this post as the definitive place on the internet to find the best facepush montage EVER! I will continuously add to this montage so that it has more of what you guys want.

So reply to this post, text, or email me with details of facepushing around you! Any media will do, photos, movies, television, music... Oh ya, even music inspires facepushing. I can't listen to Rave and Drool from the Killjoys without hearing

I come undone, while too tight
I know that I'm wrong and you were right
I can't push you in the face
Settle with my normal grace
You can't put me on the shelf
Then take me down again when you feel like myself...

See what happens when he refrained from giving a facepush? A song was written about living with the pain of being all wound up, wrong about stuff and being brushed aside like a sucka.

Let this be a lesson to all. Never think twice about a facepush. Do, or do not. There is no try.