first trip to the farmers auction

Saturday was a busy and hilarious day. We decided to go to the Spencerville farmers auction early on in the day so we could see what that was all about. Afterwards we were off to pretty much Kingston to hit up some tailgate/flea market thing in search for what sorta deals we could get on livestock.


We sorta know what species we want and how many of each we need. Between kijiji and feed store pricing, we have a pretty good idea about how much things cost but the thing is, what is out there? The auction would also give us an idea about the general interest of species in our area. It's good to know what your neighbors are breeding as well, farmers like to barter ;).


On the way to the auction we drove past the farm and it looks to be empty now. I can't believe they cleaned up the side of the barn. There were a few things leaning against the barn with long grass patches but it's all gone and cleaned up. We seriously can't wait to see what shape the place is in come Monday!


The auction was literally 10 minutes away from the new house. It took place in this great big old out building or something. Like a giant orange half-moon. The stuff inside the auction was all from 1940. The speaker system to do the bidding were made from those old bull horns or whatever; like the ones that would alarm for bomb drills in the 60's. Tables have probably always been there and...


there was also FARMER STADIUM SEATING!!!


This filled me full of happiness and joy. From what I gathered, stadium seating was reserved for grandmothers, wives and kids. There was a blatant disregard for danger, alcohol or ridiculousness of any kind. I'm imagining those thermos' actually had hot chocolate in them and no one was fist pumping at all. What a waste of stadium seating. Spots were claimed with quilts while the women socialized. Meanwhile the men endlessly carted boxes filled with creatures and random farm junk.


Old parrot cages, feeders, homemade pens made out of cardboard and chicken wire; ANYTHING was used if it could house something delicious. 


No matter where we were it seemed like we were in the way. But so was everyone else so we didn't really care. The creates were sketchy as hell and we constantly battled with trying to decipher the handwriting on the tags to find out exactly what this ridiculousness was.

Polish chickens; dig that fro

A lot of the birds were exotic or 'show birds' and waaaay out of our league. All we wanted were chicks so we could start our heritage chickens and pekin ducks. We already have turkey chicks lined up with this 16 year old kid off of kijiji; he has more stuff we would be interested in except he hasn't responded to us in like 3 days.


Seriously, farmer people need to get their shit together. The kijiji ads are too generic, are never updated and the response time is absurd.


We made the rounds and checked out all the lots before they went to auction, and we didn't really see anything we were stupid in love with. Off to the next thing with the intention of returning.


The second sale was being hosted at someones house in the middle of no where. We got lost like 5 times and we even had our phone giving us directions. Roads that didn't look like roads would magically appear from no where; you mean take that driveway? After enough twists and turns we finally arrived. The internet peoples said everything we wanted would be at this place so we figured it would be a nice chance to meet and chat with others like us; or at least talk to some hilarious old farmer dudes.


There were two vendors and one had nothing but reptile shit. 

No we're not interested in your strange ducklings or your duck eggs cause we've never heard of these ducks before.

Thank you.

My ass didn't even have a chance to de-numb itself before we were back in the car. After the retarded amount of driving we had just done we had to get back to the auction, FAST. SPENCERVILLE HO!

Again, farmer dudes need to get their shit in order. Don't promise me all the unicorns and gumdrops from sugarcane valley if all you gots are retarded ducks...

We made it back to Spencerville just before noon and there were more cars than before and the auction was still in full swing. Phew! 

You could tell it was getting late in the day because they had to switch out the auctioneer for a while. That SUCKED. Just as soon as we started to better understand one 87 year old man's words, they switch him out for another mile-a-minute senior citizen except this one had a nicer hat. 

If we were going to buy something today we needed our system to be revised.

We soon found the source of the items and how they went up so we moved to over there. Now we could inspect the boxes shortly before they went up on the stage where they were to be sold by the old man we couldn't understand. This way all you have to do is keep track of certain boxes; I'm good at that.

Ok, so we want the chicks in the long red box right?

Ya, but don't go over $20, ok?

Ok. Well, how about you bid and I'll keep my arm down? You know more about this than me...

No, you're the man. Only men are bidding. You do it, just stay under $20.

How about you hold my arm and when you want me to bid you squeeze? When you want me to stop... pat my belly?

Sure thing.

Well, our system wasn't 100% but it kinda worked. Our inability to understand farmer caused us to miss out on a few bids; milliseconds are EVERYTHING! We also got caught double bidding cause Alex didn't see my arm was up and she threw her little chicken wing up too. 

That's two now you guys, keep it together says the old man.

Le sigh.

There were two lots of 4 Orpington chicks that we liked, three lots of 4 rouen ducklings that looked interesting and a lot of rabbits. We were seriously expecting a lot more quantity especially with the chicks... 

We didn't get everything we bid on but at least we knew when to stop while others didn't. We bought the first lot of 4 ducklings for $17 while the second and third lots sold for $27 and $35! Aw well, I guess that's all we get for now.

We also scored a sweet replacement cage for Elwood the lovebird for $20. It's probably twice the size of the one he has now and in mint condition. I think people chose not to bid on it cause it has a brown base and dark bars. From stadium seating distance it truly looked like a piece of shit but we knew better. The same cage at PetSmart is $135.

Wow, I sound like dad.

When I won my first thing I didn't know what to do. Some kid brings you your whatever you won, you pay him, he runs to bring you change and then you get this slip. Here's a pic on my favorite one:

these are like $25 on kijiji; muhahahahaha

5 rabbits, 4 ducklings and $74 later, this:

note to self; leave goalie stick and your own boxes at home next time...

I tried to take a recording of the auctioneer but it must have been too long for my phone and the file is gone.

Between kijiji kid and the feed store (where we're getting our chicks and more ducks), we figure our total for ALL the livestock will be just over $300; YAY FOR BEING UNDER BUDGET! Tack on another $150 for the peafowl we bought on Wednesday (but those aren't for eating... or are they? At the auction one male peacock sold for $120. Score.

We learned a lot on Saturday about farming culture. My favorite moment of the day was when we bought a hot dog and pop at the cantine. It was $3. Alex tipped $2; meanwhile people are bidding back and fourth at dollar increments inside for chickens while we are throwing toonies at hot dog people. Yaaaa, we're not from around here. I have never seen more sour faces after the words keep the change were said. We might as well have been from France.

Right now the animals are getting fatter by the minute. Seriously, the ducklings gain about an ounce a day in the beginning. It's weird to notice them getting fatter in just one day. Here are the setups:

As soon as we get the keys we are off to Spencerville tomorrow. Need to do a few trips in order to get all the animals there with their cages and stuff. Oh ya, a mattress or something for us too unless there is a pen that is big enough...

the plan has changed, sorta kinda

I only have one day to find out everything there is to know 

about ducks

- Alex

Ducks, sure why not. In my mind ducks are essentially chickens that have a better life. Ducks just seem to be more clever than chickens plus they and have a better temperament.

 

i don't know what sort of symbolism this is but
i sure could go for a vault of gold

how can we say no to this at the auction tomorrow!?!?

The whole imprinting thing aside, these are not pets. They are not going to be in the house and they live far, far away. We'll just let the ducks be ducks and see what happens. 


Won't it be cool to have 12 or so ducks following you around quacking away? 


Isn't it cool they eat grubs and things that harm vegetable gardens... so then why not have a garden?... Ok done we're going to have a garden then.


The meat is delicious says the internets. It's full of flavor and very nutritious. What? They're $2.80 a chick, bahahahahahaaaaa.


Holy Toledo! Ducks in general seem pretty cool, neigh; they're awesome.

#998 - ducks

We were already heading in the direction of getting more chickens anyways cause 25 just doesn't seem to be enough. Seriously, it's just not enough. Think about it. Harvesting 15 tops to keep about 10 laying hens seems low. 

We might just get 40 or so chicks and then a dozen ducks. Ducks can be processed after eight weeks so they're not around for that long; it's just going to suck to have to slaughter your buddy. 

Stone wall Kevin, stone wall. Do not make friends with the ducks.

We're already pretty much locked in for 6 turkeys and we have the PEACOCKS!!! already so thems ducks shouldn't be a problem.

That's almost all the meats for a turduckin!!!!!!!

mmmmm
postal code turduckin;    ggaaaawwwwwww

chickens and stuff

I presently have writers block. It irks me since I've been doing really well lately getting a post out a day where all the topics have been pretty random. I've been rather consistent with my posts and that is awesome.


#999 - consistency

my very first meme!

Meme's... that was pretty easy and fun. Actually, I only recently learned that those types of pictures were called meme's. The only reason I know this is due to Zeddie Little, one ridiculously photogenic guy:

as if that whole thing happened *click to find out*

I have decided to explain our chicken plan the best way I can; in Kevin terms. You see, explaining it is a really long conversation to have. I figure if I just put it up on the interwebs for all to see, I won't have to. I'll just say go Google it. Seriously, go Google "Kevin's strange plan for chickens" and you will see. Here we go.


The chicken plan is to purchase 25 heritage breed chicks on Saturday at some buy/sell/trade show around Kemptville. You see, there are three types of chickens; egg laying, meat and dual purpose chickens (guess what they're good for). We want dual purpose chicks and the breeds we are interested in are:

orpington chickens

plymouth barred rock chickens (New England chicken)
GO PATS!!!

chantecler chicken (Canadian chicken)
GO...SENS?

They are all hearty breeds that can withstand the winters in an outdoor chicken coup which is precisely our plan. In the end, what we will end up getting is whatever is available from the local old school farmers. Not all farmers have websites so you can't always get what you're looking for locally. You need to join the local farming discussion boards for your area, make nice with the internet people who know everyone in the area and start asking your silly city questions.


Also, you can order your chicks from anywhere you want; they'll ship em to you via regular express mail. The thing is most heritage breeders won't send their beloved chicks in the mail because there is a greater risk of fatalities. Shipping also means extra dollars for something that is inexpensive so I think farmer Joe's chicks will be just fine for us. You can order them from a feed store but where's the fun in that?


Chicks range in price from $1.30 to $8 but you get what you pay for. I just learned that a dollar thirty meat chicken only lives for a maximum of 8 weeks. They can live their whole lives in a chicken tractor with minimal feed; that's crazy talk. They were basically engineered to have a system failure at 8 weeks so you need to process them before that. Yum?


The heritage chickens we're going for will probably be rotated out after 2 years-ish but could last much longer. You see, old chickens make for a tough meat; younger = deliciousness. Something to do about fresher tears or innocence, I can't remember.


Oh come on, seriously, I have to process these chickens so I'm allowed to be cynical about it. I really haven't ever touched a chicken, or seen a live chicken, or even been to a farm really. Pffft, I'll figure it out. The first time I flip a chicken upside down while I have a secure grasp of their neck will be a special day. That day will surely end with a gin and tonic. Or six.


Wow, I just remembered how much I hate chickens.

- Alex while watching videos about chickens just now

Seriously.


Old chickens can always be fed to the dogs but we're not sure what will happen if they get a taste for the things they are supposed to protect. We'll figure it out; farming's all about seeing what happens in your ecosystem. Ours will surely be an awecosystem.

Now that you have your chicks here's what you need to do. First off they need to be put in a box or a terrarium with heat lamps over them for the first month. They get their feed and water in there and cheep cheep all the live long day. The get to spend their next month in a chicken tractor which is something like this:

if you require a magazine to teach you how to build a box out of scrap wood, you're doing it wrong

In there they can get sun, protection from the elements and protection from most predators. The dogs need to be on the ball and if they hear the chickens going nuts they need to be Johnny on the spot. People keep telling me to worry about the foxes, oh the foxes will create mayhem and damage. Well, if the foxhound we have is not the most perfect dog for that problem then you can take my gold star away for the day.

So after that they move into the chicken coup, their new permanent residence. For the first month they will only be allowed access to half of the coup space. This is where they will learn that this is home. These are you laying boxes, here is your roost, food goes here and water there. Chickens are really dumb apparently.

Then you get to open the chicken wire door and allow them access to the open half which leads to the outside. Remember, they had a month to check out the yard from inside the coup, they'll be rearing to get out there. The food will be moved to the new half to promote them leaving their coup in the morning when we let them out and they'll have water in both areas. In the morning they'll be hungry so when you open the door, they should all barge out. That way it is easier to collect the eggs and clean up if need be. It's so easy a child could do it (and that's the plan muhahahahahaha!)

So that's pretty much it for living space. This method will teach the chickens that they lay eggs here, food is here, water is there and at night, I go in here.

Now for food. Chickens eat chicken feed for all I know. It's a mixture of stuff, probably has chemicals and stuff to prevent disease, etc etc. They can also eat corn which gives them a protein boost which is good in winter to keep them warm. They also eat insects and insects are free. While in the chicken tractors that's what they are learning; how to forge for bugs. They will destroy your grass forging and in their search they will eat pebbles, grass and roots; whatever is in the way of finding the bugs. Gotta keep them chicken tractors moving!

The floor of their coup will be a source of bugs as well. The way to do that is the oldest way in the books; here's how! You need to lay a nice solid durable floor. For this we will be pouring concrete in their coup area. You then make sure there is 10" of metal plating against the walls to be used as a frame of reference. Then you fill up that space with pine shavings from a local carpenter or something, all 10 inches. Chickens only poop; they are not like rabbits who poop and pee. This means they are going to make a mess of your pine shavings. Every morning when you come in to let them out and collect eggs, you can take a hard rake or garden claw and mix up the shavings so that it naturally composts. After a while the shavings will settle with all the chickens walking and forging on it, so you have to continuously add shavings and mix it in. After a while, bugs will start showing up in the compost. It's perfectly natural and safe for the birds. By using this method for floor, you can actually put out less feed than normal. Feed that you buy from a store with your money which is the opposite of free. The chickens will learn to rely on forging in the coup and out in the yard free-range style.

Bugs are free. I want you to remember that because we don't judge here. How does one produce bugs which are free? Well, maggots come to mind. How do you get maggots you ask? Well, meat rots. Take a pail, drill 1/2" holes all over the bottom 1/4 of it, fill it with things that can rot then put hay over it to keep the grossness down. Suspend the bucket off the ground so the holes are chicken head level and you have yourself a non-stop maggot producing solution. Geez, whatever will I do with all those chicken heads and feet after processing... what did I say about judging?

Shit is about to get real; farmer edition. I need to be strong like Arnold and keep in my mind at all times that these chickens are food. They produce eggs and meat. They are not pets.

Eggs. Well, chickens lay eggs more when it's warm. If you leave their eggs in their laying boxes one of the chickens will most likely decide to roost. That or, one of the chickens will decide one morning that they are not going out with the other birds today. They have decided to roost on what they have. Better not piss off that chicken so you let them roost. You can add more eggs to their pile to a maximum of 12 eggs. While roosting they stop producing more eggs, so you have to be careful how many you let roost. Often chickens roost as a group. 3 or more chickens will take turns sitting on the eggs and like clockwork, after 21 days the chicks will hatch. Afterwards, the chickens will raise them until full grown. Or something.

Eggs are only activated once they hit 100 degrees F. You can collect eggs on Monday, leave them on the kitchen sink for up to 2 weeks and then decide to incubate them. After 21 days in an incubator just over 100 degrees any egg will hatch.

I might be talking out of my ass here but this is how I understand it. 

The chicken police are people you should not piss off. Farms who are not part of chicken farmers of Canada are not allowed to produce more than 300 meat chickens in a year or have more than 25 laying hens at one time. If one of these rules are broken the opposite of good things happen. Chicken farmers of Canada decided to buy into an association or something to be able to supply chicken meat and eggs to local stores. The rules are in place to limit production on other farms so that their business is not impacted. You need like 1.5 million dollars to buy into this get cracking non-sense. We just want fresh eggs for us and meat in the freezer for the year, that's all. Seriously, processing 300 chickens in a year sounds sooo awesome...

So that was how to choose, raise, feed, egg stuff and chicken law. If you want to learn how to process chickens for meat, Google it, there are loads of ways and styles. I have my favorite videos for processing then filleting chicken but I'll leave the graphic stuff for now.

Again, this is what I think I know about chickens. We'll see once we put it into practice. 5 days till keys.

it was quite cute, she seemed a little concerned

Hehehe, we own peafowl.  She felt the need to correct "peacock", "peacock" is the boy, "peahen" is the girl, "peachick" is the baby, "peafowl" is all of the above.  It was quite cute, she seemed a little concerned.  I assured her I knew the difference :)

I'm a physics engineer; today we got some PEACOCKS!!!


The sight of a feather in a peacock's tail, whenever I gaze at it, makes me sick! - Darwin, April 3, 1860


I might just start using P-Boy and P-Gurl for the hell of it. Makes them seem more urban and gangsta, sorta like T-dot, they're both blue and grazing in grassy fields right now.

This bird led Darwin to postulate a new type of natural selection: sexual selection. He assumed that the females must prefer males with the most beautiful tail feathers. Well, the internets sure try very hard to dispute this fact. Simply Google "What did Darwin learn from peacocks" and you are blasted with Christian websites about faith and how Tokyo researchers published something in 2008 saying this is a farce. You get a bunch of stuff like this:

The peacock’s spectacular fan-like tail,

complete with patterns that look like eyes,

 has all the hallmarks of having been designed—by

a Designer.

PEACOCKS!!!

Ok ok, the farm we are moving into in 6 DAYS used to house peacocks, there's even a faded sign on the barn with a peacock on it. There are pens inside the barn already setup for the birds complete with trees and everything. Why not get peacocks?


The two we are getting are two years old, not related, were raised by the current owners from chicks and are exactly what we are looking for.

it must be a full moon

Ok, something's up with these animals. It's like they are all trying to tell me something; always. Not sure what it is but they sure are jacked tonight.


I also think that the animals act VERY different depending on what combination of them are around. Presently Fezzik is vacationing out east. 

file photo

With no male dog around, Shaya and Annie have been, well, relaxed.

The dragons are a great example of this as well. We raised them in a group environment, 1 male 3 females. Trust me, the reason for multiple females is so that they each get a break every now and again. We don't call him Diggity for nothing.


Anyways, we've already downsized the dragon program cause we just don't have the space at the new place. Less dragons means more space for the last 4 we have. Now, horndog has a bachelor apt where he can cool his shit, spread out real good and well, not have sex.


He likes to laze around and stare at me, then start a serious head-bob while giving the eyes...

I
WANT
MORE ...
CRANBERRIES

The females on the other hand have never been more active, or happy than now. The removal of a few rocks and a log has created the Daytona 500 speedway. 

Dumping crickets in there was like watching Jurassic Park 2:





Two of them are eating much easier than before, and then there's fatty, the BIG sister. Hand feeding sucks, she actually doesn't accept anything as food unless it is hand fed. C'mon man! The other two must be gravid or something, not a great time for eggs...


The point being, as a group the male totally runs the show and his dominance over the land reigns supreme. He's just being a big baby who wants sex real bad. Meanwhile at the chicks speedway; it's party time, excellent. For the greater good of the species, someone might get blue balls.





Darcy the cat hasn't been helping add any normalcy to our home situation either. 

After his buddy passed and his balls got cut off, he's been way less independent, hardly leaves our front or back porch, and, he cuddles. Wtf. This used to be a badass samurai pizza cat, now he's senior MEOW mix. Only the dragons are quiet, ya, I never hear from them at all...


We had to get him fixed because we are about to inherit 7 or so barn cats and everyone should do as Bob Barker says. We also had to get him fixed because one day in the midst of our packing, he came in from outside, walked up to Alex, turned around and sprayed. Enough was enough. He kinda apparently has thing about cardboard boxes and moving. Funny way to show it; that was the straw that got your balls cut off.


He showed up at the end of winter half cat half burr bush so yes we shaved his torso. His legs and head untouched. Sometimes he looks like a silverback gorilla, other times like a zombie cat. Like living squirrel road kill.

While assembling the rest of the Ikea crap for the upstairs bathroom, he wouldn't stop trying to cuddle. He used to never cuddle, just sit around you and chill. There is NO physical contact at work.

Anyways, even Elwood flew onto the cat and tried to nip his nose. Uh Elwood, you think you're Charles Bronson and are on a death wish? Sylvester goes after Tweety. You are Tweety.


7 days till we get the zoo, barn, whatever. 2 peacocks you say... Screw you too dragon.

the humans made a breakthrough

So this weekend we took our first break since March on the house. It was a rainy weekend, it was cold and we evaded a total catastrophe yesterday; we earned this break. Serenity now.


For the most part we've been talking about the farm, what species of chicken we like, etc etc. We want to have all our research before venturing into anything. Know the facts. That means we've even looked into possible color combos of rabbits, how to process and tan hides; then the most logical progression, etsy. So far all I can say is that planning to get ourselves a bit more self sufficient has been fun so far.


I have loved my weekend sans phone, refreshing and peaceful. It's dead the charger is somewhere, meh.


While we've Googled everything about anything, Willow decided to tell us her life story or something. Fresh with new toys, full food and all the freedom an endangered species can get; little princess over there must have found a pea.


WHAT DO YOU WANT!


We don't like to spray her, but we decided the more she yells the more we will spray. Obviously whenever I spray her, she runs off to the furthest corner and cowers. You make my feel bad.


Whenever Alex sprays, she pretty well comes front and centre and actually wants it. Wtf? After like 8 sprays, we start to question our approach only to see her dip her bum in her water dish and then fan it out and proceed to shake that ass. This is ridiculous. Oh, she wants a bath?


Kevin gets shallow tub of water and the bird bathes. Well that was new, now she can't sit still and the screeching has stopped. Happy Willow.





What, "mamas gettin' herself a peacock"... Oh no. Gotta go.

you can't take a clear photo of me!

record store day

Well today was quite an eventful day... Woke up to the sound of someone having a shower in the crawlspace. Le what you say. Woozle wazzle? Well when it rains it pours; sewer backup style. The kitchen drain, which is 1 3/4", starts to never endingly pour out in the unfinished kitchen. How does one stop that? My palm worked well for about 10 mins, but that needed something more permanent. TAPE. More tape. Then towels...

there i fixed it

Anyways, the adrenaline only wore off after breakfast, right when the hangover kicked in. Awesome. Then a nap was had. Then we had to go antiquing... Reminds me of this...




Ridiculous, I am wearing almost exactly what he is wearing. Anyways... I wasn't really feeling it until we hit the vinyl. Then my frown turned upside down.


Even got a case...

record store day!!!

So many gems, I actually downloaded the blogger app so I could share!


So I'm 14 weeks away from becoming a responsible dad, I simply couldn't resist! These are simply awesome and I hope our boy/girl gets years out of these. 

pinocchio and winnie the pooh... ummm, YES

chipmunks and jungle book on vinyl, sweet

huckleberry hound and disney on vinyl, the kid will think it's 1958

Zorro is for you Sergio. Mexican.

such a happy zorro - until he stabs you

Garret. Last years resolution was to be more gangsta... again. This year starting May 1st, it will be to give country a try. Maybe this way I won't cringe whenever I get in the car after Alex has been driving. 

We're living pretty much on the border now, so this makes sense. I can't believe I get the keys to the FARM in 10 days. 10 days. I still can't believe I own this <--.

bob and doug on vinyl, great condition minus the maple syrup

These were purchased with the sole purpose of 1-upping Routhier.

David Bowie. Come on, my idol. He's totally made out with Mic Jagger, you all know it.

bowie is simply amazing

I don't know what it is, but I'm on a Supertramp kick. Love it!

Who can resist Chet Atkins? This is Chet. Chet is the best name after Garret; there's just something about these country names. I never heard the name Garret until I met Garret! He exists.

chet atkins a man for every occasion 

I did get one new one, faaaantastic!

Also got more Christmas records cause the 2 I used last year had waaaay to much vibrato... And yes, in case you were wondering, Chet Atkins also did Christmas.

I didn't know "Bruno" went anywhere except right beside all of our hearts.

bruce willis - pretty good harmonica player; since when do harmonica players make the cover solo?

This was bought for obvious reasons.

unicorn awesome spiral of majesty and wonder

The list goes on. Got a ton of musicals like the King and I, a bunch of country, Irish tunes, Charlie Pride, Tchaikovsky and yes, even Whitney (at a non-inflated price).


All this for around $175. Score.


Plus is IS record Store Day 2012. One day a year where new super rare stuff is released and there are percentages off stuff. Of any of the days to get records, today WAS the day. Besides, buying stuff always makes you feel better.


So the day went from cold to hot. Also got the birds and dogs some toys and took the day off to be human with them again. You know everything needs to play.


Happy house.


Cheers