the past is funny

In the past year, life has pulled a 180 on me. I feel like I have completely transformed and all my priorities have been reset. Things have never been better, I'm busy as shit, but I like it that way. I am still just as crazy, the good kind of crazy, just maybe perhaps a better decision maker.


I wonder how the stories of old will resurface and what effect they will be have the child. Stories like the one I just told about awesome haircuts and all sorts of maybes. It didn't happen unless there's a picture right? Ahh 4th year, party time. Excellent.

you can't even tell that there's a reverse mowhawk in there can you

WASUGAH!!! (click for sound)

ok, this one is kinda scary, like batman villain scary

i think this one goes under the "unsure" category

The past is funny cause you did stuff like this and it was ok.


I totally remember this happening. After that retarded shit show of a night, I had to report for duty at my landscaping job for like 6:30 am. Back then, I was essentially a garbage man. One of my duties was to drive the company truck up and down Colonel By drive to put mileage on the truck so it looked like I was working. Greatest 8 hour shifts ever. It really doesn't take 8 hours to change a few garbage cans and pick up some nasty roadkill. I was the only employee who worked the Sat/Sun shift and I spent about 80% of that time in the lab working on my 4th year project or doing Quebec beer runs for Nick and Garret.


Now the challenge is to find that SASKATCHEWAN and ALBERTA picture... man, those tourists had no idea what was going on.


Fuck I love the parries and I've never been there! There is something awesome about that way of life, farms are the shit.


I got a new hat and I think it's awesome. It's a Pilsner hat that I found for $6 at the Quickie near my place. The Quickie doesn't even sell beer and Pislner is a beer that isn't even sold in Ontario. That makes this hat double-awesome.


#996 - random purchases

No the bunny isn't a Playboy bunny... it's actually 17,000 times more awesome; things just get bigger and stranger. Watch.

Pilsner is a western beer that I wish we had out here. Seriously.



I've taken 50 as far as it can go. Bahahaha, it's currently the ONLY domestic beer sold at Quinn's!

Pil drinkers unite! Bring a REAL MANS beer out to Ontario! We need more vitamin P!

GIMME DA BOOZES!

it was a good run as always

I have so many other farm related posts in the works, but, in lieu of my 30th birthday I simply have to get this one out off my chest. This blog post will be about:


#997 - awesome-hair

Awesome-hair makes you feel like you just Macgeiver'd your way out of sure death if it weren't for your knowledge of the pearl white unicorns weakness for clementines; not those crappy anytime ones, but the ones around Christmas.

Awesome-hair is that fourth kind of heat that unleashes ones inner rage to extreme levels of supernatural skill and ability.

Awesome-hair is what I have reached now :)

The road is long, with many a winding turns.


To get to my personal level of awesome-hair it takes forever. I always cave about halfway there, spend $20 for that summer haircut and receive those 60 seconds of ultimate relief before the fear sets in. The fear that you now must start over if any awesome-hair will ever return.

With awesome-hair also comes awesome sacrifice. And Superbowl rings.


One cannot yield awesome-hair for too long or else permanent damage will occur. One must part ways with awesome-hair before ridiculousness sets in.

Sadly there is no cure and the damage cannot be reversed. Many have tried and obviously, all have failed.

Fools of men are made from those who think they are immune to the one rule about awesome-hair: it cannot last. You become tainted and vile.

The last time I truly achieved awesome-hair was one of those cold months back in 2004. Ah university, a place where you can wear a red hat for all of life while secretly your awesome-hair grows underneath through the difficult stages. All I remember for sure is that there was a 67's game that night and that I woke up at Tom's with a reverse Mohawk for cancer. I might have had letters painted on my chest that night, another guy might have lost a tooth and found Jesus that night, perhaps I owed Tim copious amounts of dollars in slaves I had purchased. These things all might have happened, maybe.


Regardless, I saw a valiant cause and I ended it. For cancer. With my hair. Besides if anyone needed a haircut in that arena, it was me.





How do I end it this time? 


Well, I told myself long ago that when I turn 30 I have to get the dad haircut and tuck in my shirts at work. Kinda a self imposed MANtra regarding something that doesn't matter but I pretend does.


I feel that a dad haircut is another way to project seriousness onto your children. I also feel that there is no cure for my goofy condition. Now, I suspect baby will grow to learn that dada is silly and that cannot always be. I should be law. What is the answer i ask? Chuck Norris swiftly replies:

Round-house kick to the balls
aka - dad haircut

Come July there will only ever be time for dad haircut. This was the last awesome-hair. The end of times. 0% happening again. Ever.


Was it all worth it you ask? Fuck yes it was. It was so totally worth the daily comment from someone telling me to cut my hair. People just don't get it; I fell like I achieved the twelfth level of prestige. I AM Batman. I pity the fool who doesn't recognize.

In all honesty, I simply don't care what I look like because I never really see my own face.


I bet everyone has their own version of awesome-hair. It has to differ from person to person for there to be peace; we cannot all be ridiculously good looking.

Or maybe it's only you who thinks Christian Slater looks that good over there. Prince of thieves over there. Just you and a couple other people on this planet maybe. Like you and this ginger kid I know. Wow, just you and that other guy.


Awesome.